A Meaningful conversation can also mean…being rude

I’m often been told that i ask direct question who no one else ever asked before. Sometimes this statement is a compliment, sometimes it makes the person very uncomfortable and can be perceived as just rude. Either way, i can’t help myself asking the not obvious questions to start a meaningful conversation. It doesn’t matter who the person is, i’ll treat everyone the same. From a big shot business man to an old lady in the bus. I think in the end, we are all humans with the same wants and needs, therefor lots of questions are universal.

Here are some examples of what i love to ask to lead to a meaningful dialogue:

  • Who are you?

Major question! If the person answers their name or job function, i’ll ask again. Of course most people don’t really have an answer to this. Even i don’t really know who i am. But you will see wheels turning and new ideas or realisation emerging from those three simple words.

  • Why do you work where you work?

This one is pretty interesting as well. People who are in tune with the 8 hours in the day they give energy to, will answer this one quite easily. For the ones who are searching, you’ll learn more about what they want to accomplish in their lives which is a topic by itself.

Why in general is good to go deeper into any subject. Whatever the person tells you, ask them why. If you feel comfortable enough you can push from the rational questions to emotional ones. Don’t worry, no one has to cry! Emotions are good indicators in life, and knowing what triggers your conversation partner can be eye opening to the rational answers.

Small talk is a waste of time

If you talk to say nothing, then why even bother? You might think politeness is necessary in social situation, but politeness never got no one anywhere. Don’t get me wrong, i’m guilty of being polite myself. But i try to push myself for an intriguing discussion, not an empty one. Asking someone how he/she is but not caring about the answer makes no sense. The same thing vice versa, if someone ask you how you are and your answer is repeatedly that you are fine -even if you’re not- is a plain lie to yourself and others.

What if we all took the time to listen

If someone told you they were not fine, would you ignore it and continue your day? I hope not. Try to listen, try to be there in the moment. I can assure you it will be fruitful for you and your conversation partner. Being real is a bit lost in the modern world, with all our social media accounts and our busy lives, we forgot how to just sit on a park bench and explore the world and our fellow humans. You can learn so much from a simple conversation about the real stuff. Imagine how our awareness level will rocket if we got back to talking! With all the academic knowledge in our pockets on our phones -thanks to the internet- plus experience life knowledge from our conversations, we’ll be almost perfect connected beings.

how often do you stop to have a meaningful conversation?

I’m curious to know when was the last time you stopped and had a good conversation? What was it about? Did you enjoy it and leave a happier person? If your answer is no, what is keeping you from doing it? Is it shame, or fear to ask personal questions? Would you like the people around you to ask you more sincere questions? Let me know your thoughts!

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